Yesterday was a day of doctors for me. My first was to the gynecologist. I already knew that I possibly had a cyst just b/c I had been experiencing some pain and that my endometriosis was starting to grow at a rapid pace b/c of my extremely painful periods. Fine, no big deal. I'll go on a hormone therapy for 3 months that will put me into menopause for 2 years which in turn stops my hormones and stops the growth. Problem solved.
Then came the breast exam which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm still somewhat tender from my surgery and ecspecially more so on my left side. She checked the right, all is good, she moved to the left and uh-oh. Not what you want to hear. She felt something, more like 2 somethings. 2 Cyst to be exact. One of them I knew about because about a week after my surgery when I was redoing my dressing I felt what felt like a golfball size rock on the left side. I called my doctor immediatly and he said not to worry about it that it was probably scar tissue which I found hard to believe. Yet at my next 2 follow-ups he said it was nothing to worry about that it sometimes happened and if they got bothersome to come back which to me translated as "your being paranoid".
I keep telling myself over and over that everything is fine that it will be nothing but then there's the other side of me that is thinking that maybe God made this surgery happen for me so that I would know the cyst were there and I could get it taken care of before it got worse.
I'm scared and I don't think there is anything that can be done to make that fear go away until they look at me and say everything is fine. I have a new felt sympathy and understanding for those who have gone thru this. I've always prided myself on being to handle and adjust to anything the doctors throw at me but this is just not one of those things!
Please say a prayer for me for peace and understanding.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." ~ John 14:27
Jordan
1 comment:
Jordan,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry that you have this stress on you. The only advice I can give you is some advice I was given once upon a time, and it has truly helped me in many situations. Philippians 4:6-8 tells us to not worry but to focus on whatever is noble, true, pure, lovely, and admirable. The advice that I was given was to focus on what is true. Don't worry about what COULD be TRUE.
Hang in there. If you need ANYTHING, don't hesitate to call me.
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