Thankful.

2010 was a year of many up's and down's and would love to say that I'm glad to see it go but how can you be glad to see a year go that has made such an impact in the chapters of your life. Just some of the things that happened in 2010:

January - I declared on New Years that I was handing my life completly over to God and talk about a struggle each and every day.

February - Winterfest. Somehow when I set goals for myself and feel like I'm wavering on them, a youth event will pop up and drill those goals back home. There's nothing like hearing a teen challenging themselves to something to make you sit back and go "If a teen can do it then what's my excuse?"

March - I think this is the point that I truly handed it over. I didn't realize it until this past week and was able to reflect back but I defiintly believe this is when God was truly the center of my life. This was also the month that we found out I would be an aunt. How exciting, sadly it wasn't to be.

April - This is the month that started out great but ended on a sad note. At the end of April I became an Aunt to a little angel in Heaven. How great will it be to meet he or she one day. It also tested my faith. It hurt me to watch my sister hurt. So many times I caught myself questioning "Why God?" and then something would happen to make me understand.

May - It was an okay month. We had the floods that kept me pretty busy and not so focused on my detiorating health. I was on the Lupron shots, so basically in menopause. No monthly reminders that my reproductive system was shot. I was also praying for God to guide me on what I needed to do. Lead a life of barreness or continue the fight against time.

June - Probably one of the saddest months of my life short of April. It started out great with workcamp and planning for Church Camp but in the midst of it all my grandfather got ill. What was supposed to be a short stay in Hospice turned in to the end of this days on earth. I think God planned it that way. He didn't want me or my family to remember the home that we grew up in as a sad place but a home full of happy memories with him. My Papa was like a daddy to me and often jokingly introduced me to his nurses as his favorite daughter. I loved to just go sit with him. We didn't have to talk, I could just sit with him and all was right in my life at that moment. Oh how I miss him but am so grateful that we were able to be with him and talk to him until a few hours before his death.

July - Lots of good stuff happended this month. We went on a fun trip to Atlanta to watch the Braves play and for us girls to go shopping at Ikea, my all time favorite store. It was definitly the highlight of my summer. I don't often get to take summer vacations due to all the stuff going on with the youth so this was defiintly a treat. Even if it was listening to Layton for 4 hours, j/k :) This is also the month that I found out my sister might be pregnant but had to keep my lips closed for 4 long weeks, can you imagine?!?!

August - It was announced to the world that Baby W would be born in March. YAY! This would also be when I think God really started working on my heart. I was starting to feel a little crummy like something wasn't right and was starting to having issues with my vitamin levels, etc.

September - I knew for sure that surgery was coming this month. Again, just like in August, I just knew something wasn't right. I had a few cyst burst which should not have been happening. This meant that the Lupron shots which normally last a year had only lasted about 4 months. Not good. I spent the last Sunday in September in the hospital trying to get pain relief and spent Monday, September 27th sitting in my doctors office when she told me it was time for a hysterectomy if I hoped for any kind of relief. Sadly even at that point we didn't completly know how bad or how quickly I might need it. I spent a lot of time on my knee's that week praying that God point me in the right direction and that Saturday standing in the Welborn's kitchen he did. I was okay with it. Did it hurt, sure.

October - This was a completly chaotic month. I found out I would be the Aunt to sweet and precious Ava. We had 2 youth retreats and 2 youth events. I was getting ready to take a leave from work for what started out as 4 weeks, then 6 weeks, and I finally returned to work at 8 weeks out. Again, completly chaotic and in the midst of all of that my heart was shattering and God was healing it. October 25th I had a full hysterectomy. It's kind of ironic how God can take two sister who are extremely close, provide the gift of a child and take away that gift from another. I think though that this is how he healed me. It was also when I truly realized how grateful I am for the friends God has blessed me with. They were my rock this month. Jessica, Angela, Nixon, and Kellie sat with me in the hospital when I just needed someone to be there because laying in that room alone made me confront what had happened. They didnt' have to talk they were just there.

November - This was actually a pretty lazy month. I wasn't really able to do a lot yet. I just didn't have the enery plus my stomach was kind of cut open the month before which limited me. It allowed me the time to grow even closer in my walk with God and reflect on what I needed to change. It allowed to be still which I needed.

December - It was a very busy month. Lot's of family time and lot's of plan were made on my part. December is when I decided that a 2nd job was in my future. I want to pay off my car and save for a few other things so that I can either rent or buy a home towards the end of 2011 and then start the adoption process though I'm somewhat leaning on starting sooner just because of some recent things that have occured. I learned at the end of this month that I have to fully rely on God and put my hope in him and no one else.

As you can see, 2010 was definitly full of a lot of down but also quite a few up's. I have to say that God definitly added some interesting chapters to my book of life. I can't wait to see what is it come in 2011. I'll post soon on my goals or hopes for 2011!

Jordan