Last night during our session we talked about DNA and how God is in the smallest of things. How He is in every detail of our lives. What an awesome thought! Someone so big cares so much about someone so small as me and knows every move I'll make and even how many hairs are on my head. If you think you'll ever meet someone in your life who loves you that much then let me sell you a piece of land I own out in the middle of the ocean.
My view point in the last few months has really changed. Life has changed me. God has changed me. Sadly I think sometimes it takes something devestating, life changing to do that. Would I say that I wasn't focused on God before? No. I would just say it was a different focus. I'm falling back in love with God now! Who better than to be in love with than Him. I firmly believe that until you truly love God then you probably are going to have a hard time truly loving someone else.
Sitting in that room with all of those kids last night healed another little piece of my broken heart. Hearing those kids sing out to God made my heart swoon. Listening to the comedian made me truly laugh. Listening to the speakers made the ache in my heart stop aching just a little bit as tears fell from my eye's. The speaker spoke of how devestating it would be to lose a child, to pray for something so fervently and it not go the way you want it. I went thru all of that last year. In December 2009 I began praying with all of my heart after I left my doctors office that he would heal my body, make it whole. Allow it to serve the purpose of a woman. I prayed for the next 8 months every single day that he would take control and allow what would happen to happen. It did. In October I had my hysterectomy, shattering those dreams and hopes. On October 25th, I said goodbye to the child I would never have. Though I never had a child in my womb, I had always carried the hope of a future child in my heart. I love children with all of my being and that is why my heart is broken. That's okay because God is healing it. He has a plan for my life that is beyond all understanding. He knows every detail of my life and I can't wait to see what HE has in store for me.
Who knows? I may be another Katie but in the US. I may adopt lots and lots of babies and have my very own "JoJo's Orphanage". How awesome would that be!
Jordan
3 comments:
Jordan, you are such an inspiring woman. I look up to you in more then one way. You are incredible and God has great things planned for your future. You will make a great mother and you are a great friend!
I know that you have been down a tough road. You are such an inspiration especially to our children because they can witness through your example that God will be there to help us through our trials.
I am so glad you guys had a great weekend. We surely missed it.
Hi,
I wouldn't say you would have an 'orphanage' because if you adopted lots of children, they would become your children; children that you chose out of love that is in your heart and to give them what every child desires -- the chance to experience love and to become a part of a family.
Good luck on your adoption.
Post a Comment