This week has been overwhelming. Their are so many exciting things happening on the babyfront with the people around me. New babies are getting ready to be born, more pregnancies are being announced. It's overwhelming. I know everything happens in God's time and I'm so happy for those who are being blessed but it doesn't make it hurt anyless. Everytime I think I've closed that door, it opens back up. I was asked in a conversation the other day if I thought I might be struggling or have struggled with depression since this all started. My answer? Yes. How can you not go thru such life changing events and not be. I remember about a week and a half ago driving home from somewhere and thinking to myself how much longer was God going to make me suffer? How much longer was he going to make me hurt? On the outside everything looks fine and I say no diffrently when I'm asked. Who want's to be burdened by the pain that I'm feeling. The anxiety that I feel when I hear about babies. The anxiousness of what is to come. I think as humans we want things instantly and on our time and how quickly we forget that it's not about our time. It's all about his. I know he has a person picked out who will give me a child. No matter the situation, no matter the race, no matter the disability.
Can I be selfish and ask you to pray for me and what this year holds? Can I ask you to pray that God bring me the child I so desperatly want? I'm opening myself up to what the future holds. I've even gone so far as to add a ticker to the top of my blog for the child I'm waiting for.
No comments:
Post a Comment